HOOT Online, Issue 2, November 2011 – Flash Fiction, Poetry, Memoir

HARD FEELINGS
by Stewart Lindh

Could be the name of a town
Out in the Mojave,
A place to gas up,
Buy a cold drink and look around;
Telling yourself,
“I sure wouldn’t want to live here.”

But someone
Overhears your thoughts,
And your troubles begin.

Years later, an Eagle Scout ducking behind
A boulder to piss, finds your skull
Emptied of everything.

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EXOTIC EGG
by William Doonan

Valued customer, your dear friend, Marvin, has presented you with this most wonderful gift on
behalf of the celebration of your birthing. In taking full consideration of your loving of birds,
Marvin, have enrolled you in our most thrilling program of seasonal gifting.

Exotic Egg brings to you each month a boxing of six eggs of very special birds not uncommon in
our part of the continent as in addition to eggs from many other birds not having places in most
areas.

In assuring relative freshness of shipment, boxes are mailed in advance of delivery. We are very
hoping you enjoy this unnormal gift on behalf of, Marvin, and will request many such for your
family or loving ones.

As special bonus gift enclosed with first egg box, you will be finding uncommonly interesting
book of delicious, being called Blue-Footed Booby for Breakfast. For having any questions,
contact we today!

f

MINT
by Maria Anderson

When I get out of the grocery store a pregnant woman lights up a Camel light in the
Subaru next to me. Good for her.

I watch the ice cream in its little cradle on the coffee table until it melts and my dog
comes home from his walk and walks through it, and then I start thinking about my job.

Philly Jon, my maid, comes over and guesses the ice cream flavor from a pawprint.

“You have to go back to work, you know,” and I get on my knees and clean up our mess
alongside him. No one will remember the pool, or how the things I knew surfaced until I
couldn’t swim, and no one on my team will remember coach screaming about her long-
dead kid in a few years, is what they say.

f

A PROPOSAL FOR CUSTODIAL ADVENTURE
by Justis Mills

I stole all the park benches for you because you said once that you didn’t like
how they were green but also plastic.

I didn’t know where to put them, so I threw them into a lake. Turned out the lake
was hot lava, which is evidence I wasn’t paying good attention, and all the benches
became one glob.

We need to helm a heatproof ship to strap explosives to the glob. It won’t melt all
the way. Only in pieces.

Stewart Lindh’s poems have appeared in Shenandoah, Paris Voices and Poetry. Lindh is also a feature-produced screenwriter and published novelist; his latest work, Under the Spell of Paris, to appear in 2012.

William Doonan is the author of the mystery novels, Grave Passage, and Mediterranean Grave, which recount the adventures of octogenarian detective Henry Grave, who investigates crimes at sea.  Visit Doonan at www.williamdoonan.com.

Maria Anderson lives in Missoula, Montana, where she owns four German Shepherd puppies. She’s currently at work on a graphic novel about the Armed Revolutionary Forces of Colombia. You can find her at mariaanderson.net.

Justis Mills has had work appear in the Bicycle Review, Leaf Garden, Ramshackle Review, and elsewhere. Currently, he is working on a trilogy about business attire. Feel free to email him at justis.d.mills@gmail.com.

Comments
3 Responses to “HOOT Online, Issue 2, November 2011 – Flash Fiction, Poetry, Memoir”
  1. Augie says:

    I love these bits of sunshine, some humor and others so touching. Thank you augie

  2. Just glimpses; bits and pieces of life – interesting and enjoyable to read.

  3. emilyf says:

    I clicked on the williamdoonan link but it gave an error. http://williamdoonan.com/ <–this link without the www leads to Mr Doonan's site. I loved that Exotic Egg. All of these are really great.

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